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"The rulers of the country generally believed that betting eliminates strikes. Men had to work in order to gamble."
-Michael Ondaatje, Running the Family
"Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom."
-VP Pappy (A crusty old sage that still roams the Green Felt Jungles in Detroit)
"The racetrack is a place where windows clean people."
-VP Pappy
"If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?"
-Stanislaw J. Lec
"The smarter you play, the luckier you'll be."
-Mark Pilarski
"Gaming corrupts our disposition and teaches us a habit of hostility against all mankind."
-Thomas Jefferson
Accordingly, he kept meticulous records of his backgammon and card winnings.
"I am now eased in my finances and replenished in my wardrobe."
-Andrew Jackson after winning a horse race.
"I love Vegas. God knows that I know how to find my way around the buffets in Las Vegas."
-Rick Majerus, Utah Utes college basketball coach
A problem gambler was urged by a counselor to take the 20-question test for compulsive gambling. Upon completing it, the subject commented; "Boy, Gamblers Anonymous must be hard up for new members. They make qualifying so easy."
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
-American Proverb